


of summer AMs & connor murphy's musings

by idkspookystuff



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Character Study, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Multi, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 22:59:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15918012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: Connor wakes up before his boyfriends one morning and takes the time to reflect on how happy he is with them.





	of summer AMs & connor murphy's musings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lokithegodofsass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokithegodofsass/gifts).



> so i wrote this for a lot of reasons
> 
> there isn't a lot of feel good sincerely three fluff in the archive. come on guys. what are you doing with your lives that you can't write 500 words of the boys cuddling? having social lives? ridiculous. 
> 
> secondly, and most importantly: my girlfriend had a bad day and i just wanted her to have some feel good fluff because 1. she's the most important person in my life (my player 1 <3), 2. she got me into dear evan hansen and that was at the same time the best and worst thing she could have done 3. her connor will forever inspire my connor and i really wanted practice writing him. (i write evan so much that when i get to write connor i'm like "yessss")
> 
> finally, i'm VERY STRESSED and sad and just wanted to write something for future me to come back to.
> 
> i hope that you enjoy it and if you wanna follow me [on tumblr](http://www.gorgeousdan.tumblr.com) that'd be cool. 
> 
> thank you for reading!
> 
> \- seb <3
> 
> p.s. be more chill is having a broadway run and i'm a very hap boy
> 
> p.p.s. i'm just putting it out into the universe that it better not rain saturday morning bc i really, really want to go to a sunflower farm that's closing soon and i will cry

The first thing that Connor thinks about when he wakes up is how it’s hot as  _ hell _ in their apartment. 

It’s true, though. They have no air conditioning - probably a side effect of having one of the cheapest apartments in the city - and so in the middle of summer, it’s always incredibly hot. The fan Evan bought, which lays at the foot of their bed, is doing absolutely nothing for him. 

Of course, Evan and Jared are still somehow curled up together, dead asleep. Evan runs cold, and so he’s somehow not even sweating wrapped in Connor’s hoodie, fuzzy socks printed with plants on his feet. Jared, on the other hand, can sleep through a heatwave. It’s hard to get Jared to sleep, but when he finally falls asleep, he sleeps like the dead. He’s kind of notorious for staying up until three in the morning on Tumblr and then sleeping through his alarm.

Connor looks over at the clock Evan plugged in next to their bed (“I can’t  _ stand _ not knowing the time,” Evan said when he first bought it in a Target at ten at night, his hands shaking at the mere idea of not being able to see the time) and groans when he realizes it’s only five. Jared doesn’t have a class until ten and Evan - the earliest riser of the three of them - doesn’t have to get up until eight.

Connor scrubs a hand over his face and realizes he’s not going to go back to sleep anytime soon. Insomnia aside, it’s so hot that he’s baffled the entire world isn’t awake. He grabs his phone off of his dresser and scrolls through Twitter for a little bit (he likes a Tweet from Zoe complaining about a professor; he’s gotten so much closer to her after moving out of their parents’ house. Turns out the only people he can stand in close proximity for a long time without blowing up are Evan and Jared, oddly enough). 

It was really no surprise when he fell in love with Evan. Evan is the  _ best _ , anxious quirks aside. He’s beautiful, funny, an amazing singer, an awful dancer (he dances solely to Beyoncé songs and 90% to make Connor laugh) but he’s also kind, compassionate, understanding, patient. He worked so hard to slowly break down Connor’s walls without Connor even knowing what he was doing. 

Jared is the surprising aspect of their relationship. Jared was a dick to him in high school (his heart still falls to his stomach when he hears a seventeen year old Jared in his head say “Loving the new haircut, Connor. Very school-shooter-chic”, made better when twenty-three year old Jared presses a gentle kiss to his shoulder and breathes, “God, you’re  _ beautiful _ ” in a voice meant just for him). Naturally, when Evan told Connor he wanted to explore a relationship with Jared, Connor’s immediate reply was “fuck no.” However, as Connor got to know Jared again (not the insecure, standoffish seventeen year old Jared, but  _ this _ Jared,  _ his _ Jared, the one who jokingly grinds against Evan while listening to Partition in their too small kitchen until Evan goes bright red and hits him with a spatula, the one who shoots Connor a giant grin after stuffing his cold feet under Connor’s thighs because he’s “cooold”, the one who talks Connor down from angry lashouts or panic attacks with gentle words and a glass of water), Connor began to fall in love. They don’t have a perfect relationship - they have incredibly different personalities that often clash with giant screaming fits, usually ending with one of them slamming the door or Evan separating them to have a breather - but they always come back together stronger than ever. 

Connor never really thought this would be his life - honestly, he thought his life would end at age seventeen, if Zoe hadn’t come home early from band practice to find him passed out on the floor with a bottle of pills in his hands - but as he smiles at his boyfriends, he’s secretly really happy it is. He kisses Evan’s forehead (Evan stirs but does not wake, just curls further into Jared who, as predicted, does not move) and lays back down.

He can stay here for a little bit.

**Author's Note:**

> comments make the world go 'round (and i'll try to answer all of them :) )


End file.
